The Moment

The Moment

The moment I would not wish to happen again.

The moment that should have never happened.

The moment that could never be the same.

The moment I wish to forget and wish to always remember without pain.

The moment the universe is US.

The moment where there’s no you and me, only we.

The  moment I now hate so much cause I loved you too fast.

The moment I hoped I died after cause I know I could have died the happiest.

The moment that I fell down a never ending cliff.

The moment that bugs became so romantic.

The moment that you can never duplicate or replicate.

The moment that time should have stopped without going back.

The moment I’m sure of everything I am not.

The moment of ultimate silence and chaos.

The moment of beginning and eternity.

The moment of instant high.

The moment when words seem to vanish.

The moment of nothing mixed with everything.

The moment that is original.

The moment of truth and honesty.

The moment of creation.

The moment that all my senses agreed with every part of yours.

The moment the unknown became known.

The moment of wisdom, knowledge and passion.

The moment of realness.

The moment that seem to have its own copyright and trademark.

The moment that seem to be fabricated from a movie but is originally copied from us.

The moment when all the words in every language seem to describe it but at the same time it is still not enough.

The moment of LOVE that could have lasted a lifetime but now there’s none.

 

 

Masterpiece

I will keep on writing to save myself from drowning
I will keep on painting till the colors in my soul renewed
I will keep on singing till my voice forget how to pronounce your name
I will keep on dancing till I can’t remember how it feels like when I’m with you
I will keep on acting till everything I imagine becomes real
I will keep on travelling till I forget the route towards you

I will keep on creating till there’s nothing left but a faded sketch cause the love that we had was supposed to be my masterpiece

When I Liked You

I like you…
I like you staring at me…
I like you here (head) and here (heart).
I like how you make time so important.
I like how time feels when you’re with me,
How it was not wasted and how it is used.
I like how you make me think deeper than I thought of the deepest thought that I had… feel deeper than all the feelings that I absorbed.

You are not a waste of time, you are a precious moment.
You are a learning, you are a science of emotions.
You made me learn more about myself and about the things I wasn’t willing to learn or wasn’t aware that I could understand.
You make words so profound inside my head… words that are now tied up with my soul and emotions.
But you made one emotion so clear, so clear that I could see right through it.
Right through the for letter word FEAR.

You asked me once “What is your phobia?”
I answered… My phobia is not knowing my phobia.
Now I fear that I knew it already, and know it could happen
A phobia of you being mine and suddenly not being mine.

 

The divine dichotomy of Love and Fear that I could not set apart…
For without one you can’t feel the other, but with both, life will reveal the ultimate truth of Love.
Who can say what ultimate is or how ultimate is defined?
It is you and only you who could tell… for you are the only one who holds the power on how words should be felt and manifested.

_Feb2016_

Hanggang Ayoko Na

Ikaw padin laman ng utak ko kahit lutang na ko, kahit tulog na ko kahit lasing na ko, kahit pagod na ko, kahit busy ako, kahit wala akong ginagawa kahit sabaw ako, kahit ayaw ko, kahit nakalimutan ko, kahit nadistract lang o kahit kailan…

Gusto kitang mahalin ulit ng buong buo na parang walang naging nakaraa. Kakayanin ko ulit kahit mahirap na ipilit ulit na mabalik ang dati dahil hangang ngayon mahal kita ng totoo. Mahal na mahal dahil ang pagmamahal ay lahat ng emosyon ko kasama ang galit, sakit at pait. Dahil mahal ka ng bawat parte ng katawan ko kasama ang bawat damdamin na dala nito. Pero alm kong dadating ang panahon na masasaid at mauubos ang lahat ng ito. Dadating ang panahon na wala na akong kahit anong emosyon na maramdaman pag naririnig ko ang iyong pangalan. At kung pakikiusapan mo akong maging kaibigan, patawad dahil hindi ko kaya. Di kayaning makita na masaya ka na sa iba at andito akong maririnig mula sa mga sarili mong labi na dating sa akin lamang nakadampi. Di ko kaya.
Kaya pagpapatawad ko lamang ang maari kong ibigay sayo ngunit hindi ang pagkakaibigang gusto mo. Dahil patuloy kitang mamahalin hindi bilang kaibigan kundi bilang aking tadhana.

Mahal kita hanggang ayoko na! At ibinibigay ko na lahat ng kapatawaran sayo. Hiling ko lang na sana kahit sa huling paalam magawa natin to ng magkasama. Isang yakap at bulong na mahal kita ang nais kong matirang alaala at paulit-ulit kong iaalala para puso’y magsawa na.

Not Tonight

I can still remember the worst night I had
The night with no single goodnight
The night with the most shallow sleep
The night beside a breathing but empty soul
The night with the coldest hug I had ever had
The night with lightest kiss of goodbye
The night with the fastest farewell
The night when I last saw you

The worst night that I hope didn’t happen
Cause it’s the night I wish you said goodnight
The night I wish we slept so tight
The night I wish our souls collide
The night I wish we hugged and kissed all night
The night I wish we never said goodbye
The night I wish that forever is right